Wednesday, 5 March 2014
Brook Cottage Books is thrilled to welcome Sara Dale to the blog with this fantastic guest post and an equally great giveaway.
The International giveaway on this tour is
1 x paperback copy of Bolder and Wiser.
Thank you Sara.  |
| BUY THIS BOOK |
Hit
50 yet? I’m just about to….
Thank you so much for asking me
to write a guest post as part of the Fiction Addiction tour of my book, Bolder and Wiser. First of all – the
book is non-fiction (!) but I hope that it might resonate with some of your readers
anyway.
Women in their forties and
fifties are often big readers, I am told. Given Brook Cottage Books appeals to
big readers, I am guessing that some of you – like me - may well be approaching
or have just reached fifty. How does that make you feel? Excited? Dreading it?
In denial? Or reaching for every anti-ageing trick you can find?
I wasn’t sure how I felt. I
have watched friends getting there first, and have been aware of physical signs
of ageing. But in many ways, I feel full of energy and optimism that my fifties
and beyond could be when I feel as if I am coming into my own. My writing is
taking shape, I am now really quite experienced as a psychologist, and my
children are becoming more independent. At the same time, is childcare about to
be replaced with care for my older relatives, and am I going to be too decrepit
to do all the things I still want to?
I set out to find out what
women who have already passed both the fifty, and sixty, point could tell me
about what matters and what doesn’t as I negotiate these tricky mid-life years.
I had conversations with twenty women, all at least ten years older than me, to
find out what they thought.
The result is Bolder and Wiser. They told me about
motherhood, and marriage. Their approach to their appearance, to money and to
housework. They shared with me their reflections on getting over crises, and
how they have experienced caring for others. In short, all of life was here. It’s
realistic but also optimistic. Our attitudes are more important than our
circumstances, on the whole. I find that refreshing as we have some chance of
nurturing positive attitudes, whereas we can’t always change our circumstances.
So – if, like me, you or your
friends are about to hit the big Five-O – I hope that you find these women’s
insights as encouraging as I do. In the words of one of my women, let’s go for
it!
Sarah Dale
Thanks again to Sarah for this great guest Post. Lets find out a little more about her book.
Book Blurb
Hit 50 yet? Sarah Dale is about to. This
impending event set her wondering about successful ageing, what life looks like
for women who have been there and done that, and what adventures are to be had
on the other side of 50.
In this fascinating and celebratory
book, Sarah talks to 20 inspiring women who have not only made it past 50, but
are happy to be there.
These open and honest conversations,
punctuated by Sarah’s observations about her own journey, reflect on friendship,
work, health, creativity, marriage, motherhood, money – and whether you should
stop dyeing your hair.
Sarah Dale is a chartered psychologist
and accredited coach. She devised the Creating Focus programme and is the
author of Keeping Your Spirits Up.
She was born in 1964...
Excerpt
On a beautiful day in August, we seek out a wild swimming
spot on Dartmoor. It is an idyllic setting, an ancient grassy common on the
bend of the river, overhung by lush oak and beech trees in full summer leaf.
Dappled sunlight falls across wet children sleek and glossy as seals, and their
shrieks bounce off the rock face as they dare each other to ever higher leaps
from the bank.
I bring up the rear of our little family group, as we haul
our picnic and towels from the car park. My varifocals and unsteady flip flops,
as well as customary caution, result in me being slower than everyone else in
making my way along the uneven riverside footpath.
I imagine, if I were living in some fictional primeval tribe,
that I might soon be discarded. What do I bring to the party? Am I becoming a
liability? As a woman approaching fifty, I no longer offer physical strength or
child-bearing potential. If I ever was physically daring, I’m less so now. The
brief appeal of dipping in the river chills as quickly as my feet when I test
the temperature.
I’m no longer the quickest, strongest or the one with the
loudest voice. I have fulfilled my reproductive purpose, if that is what we are
here for. I won’t have more children and my daughters are growing in
independence on a daily basis.
But I don’t feel ready to resign myself to the background
yet. In many ways I feel that my work has barely started. Am I deluded in
thinking I have some valuable contribution to make? What shape will it take?
What exactly is my purpose? And does
it matter?
The women I have had conversations with over the last months
have a wide range of views and experiences. My initial response is relief that
not one of them is invisible. Their contribution may sometimes be subtle but is
often all the more powerful for that.
It is like a dew-laden spider’s web: visible if you look for
it; awe-inspiring in its construction; efficient, beautiful and very strong in
its natural habitat. It is also very easily swept aside by those clumsily
making their way through life without stopping to notice what is right in front
of their faces. The corporations, institutions, families and generations who
ignore older women are losing far more than they realise. Society needs older
women like the world needs bees.
I have heard from women, all of whom are at least sixty years
old, who hold things together. They quietly and relentlessly challenge
injustice. They support and soothe and organise and nurture. They lead the way.
They laugh. They struggle, and doubt themselves. They keep going, and encourage
others to keep going. They see the bigger picture as well as the tiny details
of life that matter. They are a curious mix of astonishing patience and
exasperated energy. They care.
I have paused for a while in my middle-aged rush of busy
domesticity where work and motherhood uneasily co-habit, backlit in recent
years by my own uncertainties about ageing. I have stopped to listen to these
ordinary, yet extra-ordinary, women. I expected interesting things.
However, I didn’t expect the project to be so immediately and
intensely personal. It has confirmed or challenged my own views of what matters
and what doesn’t. It has left me with clearer ideas about the kind of older
woman I would like to be. It has reassured me. It has been time well spent.
About the Author
Sarah is a
practising occupational psychologist and accredited coach. She designed the
structured coaching programme, Creating Focus®, and is the author of Keeping Your Spirits Up, a guide to
facing the challenges of modern life. She lives in Nottingham with her husband,
two daughters and step-son. Her moments of leisure are spent Nordic walking,
reading fiction and frequenting coffee shops, the more independent the better.
She secretly loves a good jigsaw.
You can find
out more about Sarah Dale on her website, www.creatingfocus.org or by following her on twitter (@creatingfocus) or on Facebook (Sarah
Dale – author).
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Thank you for hosting Sarah on tour today JB.
You are awesome :)
Shaz
Have a great time on your blog tour, Sarah and congratulations on the successful launch of your book!
Cathy B
Thank you so much for hosting me, and for your good wishes. During the book launch for Bolder and Wiser, we collected some ideas for the top tip we'd give our younger selves - you can see them here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzV2VKa6dqc&feature=youtu.be
What would yours be?
Sarahx