Release Date: 11th August 2014
Publisher: Safkhet Select

Genres: Humour, Fiction


“Today’s Sunny Sunday joke comes from eleven-year-old Tom Baker on Nicholas Ward. Thank you Tom. Tom’s joke is: Doctor Doctor: I’m addicted to Twitter. Sorry, I don’t follow you. Boom, boom! That made us all laugh in the studio. I hope you’ve enjoyed the show and you’ll join me tomorrow night for more jokes.” Charlie shut off the microphone and picked up her handbag. “Don’t go just yet,” said Sam. “I want to see your face when I read out the next challenge. Sit down opposite me and we’ll do it live.” Charlie moved opposite Sam and let him prepare for the show. He cued his first song. “You enjoying it then?” he asked. “I suppose, in a funny way, I am. It’s quite exciting not to know what I’ll be doing next. It’s certainly kept me busy. I haven’t had time to drip about the house being miserable.” “Somehow I can’t see you as miserable. Now me … I can do miserable with bells on,” he chuckled. “Ever since I retired, I’ve been a right old grumpy guts. Brenda says it’s my age. I think it’s because life’s turned out to be quite different to what I expected. I thought when I retired, we'd have more time together and enjoy getting to know each other again. I thought we might go hiking at weekends or go on some big adventure and hire a campervan to tour Europe, or buy a motorbike and head off up to Scotland on it. Oh, I don't know what I expected. I didn’t bank on her having other interests and friends, or the grandkids always being at ours. They're great kids but … well, she never wants to be away from them. In fact, she sees more of them than she did of our own kids. She’s always busy. She never seems to have time for us. Life doesn’t always go in the direction you hoped, does it? Still, I don’t need to tell you that. Oops, here we go. The track’s almost up.” “Good afternoon people. It’s Sam the man here again. I’ve managed to keep the lovely Charlie Blundell behind for a few minutes so we can chat to her about the next challenge. In front of me is the secret envelope with Charlie’s next challenge. We discovered several audacious challenges dropped into our box last week and this one was selected at random from them.” He pressed a button and immediately the music from the film Jaws played. Charlie shook her head in dismay. “The clue’s in the music, folks. Diving with sharks is popular with many backpackers and gap year students and often, they go diving in cages to see these creatures. Not for our Charlie. There’ll be no cages involved. We’re challenging Charlie to have a close up encounter with ten foot sand sharks. We’ve arranged for you to be sent to South Africa to dive with the toothy monsters.” Charlie’s mouth dropped open. “Oops, sorry, I don’t mean South Africa. I mean Chester Sea World at the Blue Planet Aquarium. Oh people, if you could only see Charlie now. She looks like she’s going to thump me. I think I’d better play the next song. I was going to play Shooting Shark by Blue Oyster Cult, but I couldn’t find it so here instead is Hold the Line by Toto.” Mercedes was sitting in the technician’s room wearing a diving mask and a snorkel when Charlie marched back in. “Very funny, Mercedes! Whose idea was this? Diving in a tank of giant sharks.” “I think it was Ernest Peters in Esther Ward. He’s only in for a few days for minor surgery and said he rather liked the idea of you in a wetsuit. He’s a cool guy, especially for eighty,” said Sean while Mercedes removed the steamed-up mask and snorkel. “He used to be a diver for the navy, years ago. I’m sure he’ll give you some tips and pointers.” “I’m guessing there’s a bit more to this than just rolling up and ogling a couple of sharks.” “You guessed right. We’ve enrolled you on a PADI diving course. You’ll be doing the learning bit online, followed by five confined dives at a local swimming pool. I’ll give you details of when and where. The two open dives sadly, won’t be taking place in Barbados, but at Dosthill Quarry in Tamworth,” continued Sean in a matter-of-fact voice. “If you manage the online course part without any problems, and fit in your dives on these dates we’ve provisionally chosen for you, you should easily be ready to go to Chester in four weeks. Once more that’ll give us time to raise interest in the challenge and some funds. Mister Peters will be chuffed you’re doing his challenge. You’re okay with this, aren’t you?” “I’m not sure yet. I’m more worried about squeezing into a wetsuit than swimming with sharks at the moment.” “Hey, who doesn’t look good in neoprene?” Mercedes chipped in, placing the snorkel and mask on the table. “The mask’s for you. It comes with love from a well-wisher.” “Who? Who knew I was going diving?” “Dunno. Someone in the know must have leaked it out. Sam knew. Art and Patricia know. Maybe they blabbed. Or, maybe Mister Peters told his family. Anyhow, you have some equipment to play with and an online course to study, so off you go, little mermaid. We’ll get on and do the hard part, raising funds, getting sponsorship and trying to find an insurance company willing to insure you.” Mercedes handed the mask and snorkel to Charlie. “Oh, before you go, you might want to watch this to help you.” She rummaged in a plastic bag, pulled out a DVD and passed it to Charlie. “Finding Nemo. Hilarious. You’re just hilarious!”


    







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