One wedding. One curse?  Disaster ever after…

A seven-years-bad-sex curse? Surely not! Yet something went wrong when rock singer Casey and drummer Alex got married on that beautiful yacht anchored off St Tropez in the south of France. Something went badly wrong. For even on their wedding night, the young couple discovers a complete and somewhat surprising inability to make love. Muddling through their honeymoon with a string of thin excuses for their predicament, the lovers defer finding a solution (and panicking) until the return to their home in London. After all, they married for life and to make rock music, not for the love of sex. Right?

But when they resume life as normal in London, all hell breaks loose. Increasingly frantic in their quest for release, the unhappy newlyweds embark on a string of hilarious and occasionally harmful antics that drives them, their band, and an assortment of random strangers to the brink of despair. But it ain’t over ‘til it’s over or, in this case… it ain’t over ‘til the newlyweds sing.

JB: I have here with me the amazing Alex Morgan, drummer of rock band Blue heart and most recently turned romantic hero in Nicky Wells’s latest comedy, 7 Years Bad Sex. Welcome, Alex!

Alex: It’s a pleasure to be here.

JB: So, Alex. Not to put too fine a point on it, but you and Casey, you hit a spot of bother on your honeymoon, didn’t you?

Alex: You could say that.

JB: What happened?

Alex: Nothing happened. All right, I know what you’re asking, so I’m going to say it. We can’t make love. There. So nothing happened, ever.

JB: Wow.

Alex: Not exactly the first adjective that springs to mind, but yeah. Wow.

JB: But why?

Alex: Some say we’re cursed because Casey and I didn’t make eye contact while we were toasting each other. Apparently that gives you seven years bad sex.

JB: Sounds like a nasty disease. *blushes* What I mean is, it seems odd to just catch something like this… *blushes some more* Oh, I’m making a right hash of this. Sorry!

Alex: Don’t be. Casey and I have been through it all. We’ve seen a counsellor, a psychic, and a sex therapist.

JB: And you’ve been caught on camera not-quite-in-the-act, I hear?

Alex: You saw that picture, huh? Yeah, we’ve been caught on live on camera and very nearly went out on national TV. We didn’t know that the crew was going to walk in on us complete with camera rolling and a live microphone. Just another instance of being foiled in our ambition.

JB: One of many, or so Nicky would have us believe.

Alex: One of many indeed.

JB: Any favourites?

Alex: Pardon me?

JB: I meant, among all that calamity, do you have any favourite moments?

Alex: Well, the near destruction of our house was quite funny, in retrospect. It wasn’t so funny at the time, but I guess if you saw it in the movie, it’d be a laugh-out-loud moment.

JB: Oh, a movie! Will there be one?

Alex: You never know… I’m sure we’re open to offers.

JB: Who’d be you?

Alex: *scratches head* Now there’s a question nobody’s ever asked me before. Hm… I think… quite possibly Andrew Garfield.

JB: *swoons* And what about Casey?

Alex: Oh my! Do you know, I reckon Karen Gillan would be perfect.

JB: Great cast! So remind us what readers can expect from 7 Years Bad Sex?

Alex: *laughs* Once you’ve read it, you will never, ever clink glasses with anyone without making eye contact, I guarantee it. But seriously? 7 Years Bad Sex is funny, unique, very honest, desperately frustrating, and ultimately encouraging. I’d buy it for Casey if she didn’t know the story inside out.

JB: Brill! Last question for today: Tell us something we don’t know about you.

Alex: You mean you think I have any secrets beyond everything that was laid bare in the book, pun intended? *laughs* Okay. I’m a sucker for salted caramel ice cream, I listen to ABBA in the bath, and I have a little purple book where I write down ideas for songs when I’m travelling on the Tube. There is a lot inspiration on the Tube. Romance, heartbreak, loneliness, crime, the nitty-gritty of life… you’ve just got to keep your eyes and ears open.

JB: OMG, people, make sure you don’t misbehave on the Tube or Alex Morgan will put you in a song!

Alex: On the contrary, people, keep doing what you’re doing, it makes for great rock music! *grins*

JB: Alex, it’s been a pleasure, thank you so much. Come back again soon?

Alex: Definitely. Thanks for having me here, and see you at the next launch….